The secret to life is to put yourself in the right lighting. For some it's a Broadway spotlight; for others, a lamplit desk. Use your natural powers--of persistence, concentration, insight and sensitivity--to do work you love and work that matters. Solve problems, make art, think deeply.~Susan Cain From Quiet
I spied the crescent moon as I backed my car out of the driveway on the way to work. I shifted into park and sat gazing awhile at that comma shape smoldering in the early morning sky. Was the moon speaking to me in its silent, glowing punctuation? It seemed to be enticing me to pause. I yearned for a slower life pace. For weeks, I'd been saying to myself, "Let me off. Let me off this ride. It's too fast. I can't keep up."
The culture is often too noisy for me. Requires too much talking and promoting that leaves me exhausted. I was blocked from Instagram and know not why. I filed a report, attempting to discover my error, but still no word. I cannot post or comment. At first I fretted, but then realized it doesn't matter that much--just another expectation to "get oneself out there." What if one does not really enjoy "getting out there?" The very pressure to promote one's writing these days is a job in and of itself. I calmed down. Let it go. Maybe I'd get unblocked at some point, but if not, that's okay.
When I was a girl, I remember taking piano lessons and loving the slower pieces. When adagio was my directive on the sheet music. I played Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata over and over and over, because I enjoyed the unhurried tempo.
I pray earnestly for God to instruct me in life. This week as I was walking, I took a different route and found myself in an overgrown empty lot. There, bobbing between two trees, was a splendid spider web glistening in the sunlight. I paused to observe its intricate design and rectangular-shaped patterns. The spider had worked diligently to create the project. I sensed God whispering, "She works here in this silent space, realizing her gifting, following her instincts, creating beauty, not trying to be anything other than what I designed her to be, spinning at her own tempo."
And so I sit down this day, appreciating my own tempo, not consumed with what others think, or what I "should" do or not do. Content at my lamplit desk.