The sea was like a shortcut to intimacy.~Katherine May (From Wintering--The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times)

She was elfin-like, the speaker I recently listened to at a church service. Small and delicate, she wore trendy leggings and a flowing cream-colored blouse. Her melodic Scottish accent filled the room. Smooth pink cheeks belied her ninety-two years. I could see, even from four rows back, that her eyes sparkled blue. She spoke about subjects we don't often talk about, how she struggled with deep loneliness for large swaths of her life. She stated that it has been her experience of the unconditional love of God that has helped the most to assuage loneliness in her life. She spoke of the mercy of Jesus, His grace and revelation of His love for her that continues to transform her life. I resonated with her testimony, grateful that she talked of the the hard things--the grief, the sadness, the regrets, the failures, the loneliness. And the presence and love of Jesus that is real when the hard things emerge. Her words felt like beautiful stones placed on the corners of my heart that no wind could uproot.

From my book, On A Clear Blue Day, I share an excerpt that speaks to some of the hard things--perhaps acting as strengthening stones of the grace and peace of Jesus.

SITTING ON THE EDGE OF AMERICA

As I drove down the single-lane road toward the beach near my home, I saw the sign that says, Folly Beach--Welcome To The Edge Of America. I felt like I was nearing the edge emotionally. On our seventh wedding anniversary, my husband and I had a terrible fight, and the fight wasn't one of those trifling arguments about squeezing the toothpaste in the middle. The substance of this fight hit right in the gut. The struggle was about the pain of emotional distance in a relationship, the pain of feeling lost and lonely inside a marriage--real hurt down to the bone.

I'd decided to take a break from the confusion in my heart and drive out to the beach. I sat down on the sand and felt the warmth of the earth seeping into my legs through my sweat pants. The sand still held its heat, embracing me in the ealry evening light. The sound of the waves felt comforting--the oceanic ebb and flow calming. The blue line threading the horizon seemed infinite. A young girl, her bare feet coated in sand, ran over toward me to retrieve her puppy that had escaped its leash. The dog was white, one eye green, and the other brown. He stopped to sniff at my feet and I was able to grab him. His pink belly felt silky and warm, a few freckles lay sprinkled across his rotund middle. He contained that incredible puppy smell and wouldn't stop licking my hands. As the girl neared, she said breathlessly, "Sorry, he's always running away."

"No, actually, seeing and holding your dog has been the best part of my day. What breed is he?" "Oh he'a mutt," she smiled. "Some people brought him back to the shelter, because he was too hyper, but I wanted him real bad. I knew I could figure it out. I knew we could learn to get along. I knew he wasn't too wild for me."

I watched these two amiable creatures continue down the beach. The girl kneeled down to place the puppy's leash back on his neck. He tugged and pulled. I could hear her clear, firm voice say over the sound of the waves, "Let's go this way. I'm with you. Come on."

At that moment, it was almost as if the Lord spoke to me through this endearing teenager. He urged me to stay close to Him--to trust Him for the power to forgive and compromise in my relationship with my husband, to figure out our own marital wildness. To believe that He could change both of us, could bring healing to the broken places. Restore intimacy.

I stood up and brushed the sand from my legs, breathed in the moist, salt air and felt so much better. The Lord had strengthened and comforted me. I prayed, Thank you, Jesus, for your goodness. I release my faith over the hurtful spaces in my marriage. You know how much I love my husband, and I know your Holy Spirit will lubricate our frayed hearts, will keep us from falling off the edge."