Monday, 01 May 2023 17:10

Too Much World

Written by  Priscilla K. Garatti
Too Much World Photo by Gaelle Marcel

The bright side of the planet moves toward darkness

And the cities are falling asleep, each in its hour,

And for me, now as then, it is too much.

There is too much world.~Czeslaw Milosz (From The Separate Notebooks)

I dreamed last week that I saw a white arrow pointing forward. I wasn't sure what to make of the dream when I awakened. It was not an ominous dream. 

Then yesterday, I was a greeter at church. A strong wind blew. Rain pelted the sidewalk. People began streaming into the church, some faces familiar. Some not. Then I looked up at the sky, and I noted patches of blue, the sun peering through. Two weather systems in the span of fifteen minutes.

Another parishioner greeted people with me. During a lull in people arriving, we began to talk about our lives.

She told me that she'd experienced a "triple whammy" in the last few years. She and her husband had retired after over four decades of marriage and successful careers. Then he'd died. The "whammies" like a vortex of simultaneous weather patterns. "I've lost my husband, my career identity and I'm getting older." She said it is an uncertain time in her life, that she is feeling her way through. "Some days I'm not sure what to do next."  I could relate. Retirement alone can feel as if you may stay unmoored forever. Not to mention the stunning loss of a soulmate.  I asked, "What is your best coping tool during this time?"

The lovely parishioner answered, "Taking things one day at a time. I know God is for me and has my good in mind. Remembers my pain. Knows the days sometimes feel directionless. So I get up and say, 'God thank you for this day, guide me, give me a plan. And that's enough. I can trust Him for that day.'"

I nodded. "Yes, that kind of mindset helps me too." I told her about my dream, seeing the white arrow. I said, "Maybe that simple image is a message to keep going. Move forward. Don't stay stuck. Take the next step when there's too much world." 

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What Readers Are Saying

In Missing God Priscilla takes a brave and unflinching look at grief and the myriad ways in which it isolates one person from another. The characters are full-bodied and the writing is mesmerizing. Best of all, there is ample room for hope to break through. This is a must read.

Beth Webb-Hart (author of Grace At Lowtide)

winner"On A Clear Blue Day" won an "Enduring Light" Bronze medal in the 2017 Illumination Book Awards.

winnerAn excerpt from Missing God won as an Honorable Mention Finalist in Glimmertrain’s short story “Family Matters” contest in April 2010.