As I have for most of my life, I felt that I was on the cusp of getting it all right and just needed a little more time.~Katherine May (From Wintering--The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times)

I stayed up late and watched The Late Show with Stephen Colbert a few nights ago. Jon Batiste, Colbert's former band leader, made an appearance. Batiste said the last few years have been filled with a lot of uncertainty. He explained that in the midst of winning multiple Grammy awards and writing a symphony (now a documentary film, American Symphony), his wife had a recurrence of cancer. Batiste said in an attempt to help her feel more relaxed while in the hospital getting treatment, he wrote lullabies for her. "I just knew with all the monitors beeping and hospital staff coming and going she needed to receive a frequency of rest, and the lullabies helped her stay calm and keep anxiety away." 

Jon Batiste wrote the lullaby, Butterfly. (Listen here.) Butterfly Uncertainty is part of life. I think (perhaps), I'm accepting uncertainty and the permeable lines between happy and broken. Sometimes I believe there's this place I should reach and remain. You know, do everything I can to stay in that location where I'm eating mindfully, working out, writing productively and staking out joy on every level of life. I command myself "not to slide back--stay in that happy place where wellness dwells--only a state of wellness is acceptable." Everyone (including me) knows this is a fantastical, imperative and unhealthy "should." Ugh.

The only place that is sturdy enough to hold my life and dreams, my good days and broken days, is the light of Jesus. His goodness and mercy, beauty and grace, is my scaffolding. He is my stronghold. He is the only One who can create a frequency of rest in my soul. 

I'm looking now out my front window. My husband strung Christmas lights on our shrubs that line the front porch. I love to sit in the chair by the window and absorb the warmth of their brightness as they blink in contrast with the inky night sky. 

Despite the world's myriad uncertainties, may you hold fast to the miracle of Christ's entrance into this troubled cosmos that He loves. May you experience multiple frequencies of rest as you move into 2024. It is such an honor to meet you here on the page. I thank you and send much love. Merry Christmas.