Saturday, 19 December 2015 14:19

A Different Girl

Written by  Priscilla K. Garatti

I am unmoored easily--drifting off into melancholy waters almost effortlessly.  Mired in the sticks. I am improving, though, in extricating my vessel and rowing away from those dim shores.  And that is accomplished so often by changing my mind. What am I emphasizing in my life: What's wrong? What's not been done?  The what ifs? I'd surely be happier if this or that was different.  If that person would just change their stupid ways.  I know better than to get stuck in this opaque sea.  I have the power to think differently.  And so I asked, "What's making me happy?"

I could almost feel the immediate change as I began rowing in a different direction.  At work I looked around the table during our weekly meeting. I noted the talented, kind, compassionate people that I have the privilege to collaborate with. I hear of a lot of people who despise their work.  I don't have that problem.  Most days I can say I enjoy getting up and going to work.

Then that afternoon, I drove over to the grocery store.  It is December, and I had my windows down, the sun and fresh wind pouring into the car.  I sang along to Christmas carols--the sky purely blue.  I drive a dependable car and have money in my pocket to buy plenty of food.

The next day I found myself at a favorite spot in my neighborhood--the tidal creek at the end of my street.  I walk with headphones listening to Pandora (usually the Steely Dan channel). It was twilight, almost dark, later than I usually walk. I looked up at the sky, streamers of lavender and turquoise mingling into the fading light.  A seagull glided silently by, its wings seemed to touch a cresent moon just beginning to glow.  I raised my arms in gladness and breathed deeply.

As I moved through the week, I stopped to appreciate a hedgerow of holly, the berries plump and red.  I inhaled the lucious scent of my three-year-old granddaughter as she sat peacefully in my lap munching raisins and telling me about her life.  She'd just danced to a ballet she had choreographed and entitled "A Different Girl."  

I'd done the same thing--pointed my vessel toward different waters.  I have a choice each day--stay unmoored in an ocean of shadows, or pick up my oars and row toward the light.  

Newsletter Signup

* indicates required

What Readers Are Saying

In Missing God Priscilla takes a brave and unflinching look at grief and the myriad ways in which it isolates one person from another. The characters are full-bodied and the writing is mesmerizing. Best of all, there is ample room for hope to break through. This is a must read.

Beth Webb-Hart (author of Grace At Lowtide)

winner"On A Clear Blue Day" won an "Enduring Light" Bronze medal in the 2017 Illumination Book Awards.

winnerAn excerpt from Missing God won as an Honorable Mention Finalist in Glimmertrain’s short story “Family Matters” contest in April 2010.